HARLEY QUINN Recap: (S04E04) The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia

Posted by Melody McCune | Aug 3, 2023 | Animation, DC, Recaps & Reviews, TV & Streaming | 0

DISCLAIMER: This recap of Harley Quinn Season 4 Episode 4, “The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia,” contains spoilers. Proceed at your peril.

Welcome back, Harlivy lovers! We’re officially in convention season on Harley Quinn, and with MalCon comes evil shenanigans and Lex Luthor’s pumped-up (and explosive) calves. On the hero side, Harley’s Bat Fam antics result in sweet bonding (and more Nightwing ass). This outing harbors an exciting cliffhanger that could map out the rest of the season. Joker could potentially become a power player on the evil side of things again. Plus, I can see Lex Luthor and Talia al Ghul teaming up for nefarious activities at some point.

While this season is a little slower and not quite as laser-focused narratively, I love exploring these different character dynamics. It’s also fun seeing Harley and Ivy spend time apart as they thrive in their respective careers. Harley’s adventures as a hero are fascinating to me. And that outfit! I might like it better than her traditional red/black getup.

All in all, this episode boasts the things we love about Harley Quinn: cheeky, raunchy humor and fun pop culture/DC references.

Ready to delve into “The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia”? Let’s get to it.

RELATED: Check out our recap for Harley Quinn Season 4 Episode 3, “Icons Only”

We open with Nora Freeze (Rachel Dratch), driving Ivy (Lake Bell) to Lex Luthor’s penis-shaped rocket (SpaceLex). Said rocket will whisk Ivy away to the moon, where MalCon, a business conference, takes place. Harley leaves Ivy the key to her chastity belt and a cutesy note. Aw, she’s the ever-supportive GF. Nora jokes that Ivy will be “the first person to come back from a business conference without chlamydia.” Hey, that’s the episode title (that’s also non-SEO-friendly). Nora snaps some photos of Ivy making suggestive gestures in front of the rocket while the voice over the intercom urges them to stop making fun of Lex’s phallic spaceship.

HARLEY QUINN Season 4 Episode 4, “The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia.” Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Discovery Media/HBO.

Meanwhile, Joker (Alan Tudyk) hangs upside down in his office while Two-Face (Andy Daly) and his goons attempt to rob him. Suddenly, Harley (Kaley Cuoco), Nightwing (Harvey Guillén), Batgirl (Briana Cuoco) and Robin (Jacob Tremblay) barge in and start laying the smackdown on Two-Face. Unfortunately, the Bat Fam is missing their weapons, so only Harley really saves the day with her trusty bat. After knocking the baddies unconscious, Harley frees Joker, who makes a crack about her fighting style, indicating she misses being a villain. Thankfully, she puts him in his place. That’s my girl. Side note: Harley’s Bat Fam costume is perfect. I expect it’ll spawn many Halloween costumes and SDCC 2024 cosplay.

Next, Lex Luthor (Giancarlo Esposito) washes his hands in baby seal’s blood and pumps up his calves with the aid of his assistants, Jon and Jon (Paul W. Downs). Clark Kent (James Wolk) interviews him for the Daily Planet. He asks Lex about his decision to include Ivy in the MalCon proceedings. I love the idea of Clark Kent/Superman having to cover a villains convention as press.

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Then, our Bat Fam returns to the Batcave to unravel the mystery of the missing weapons. They catch Talia al Ghul (Aline Elasmar) on the cameras as she empties the contents of Wayne Manor. They confront her. She claims that because Wayne Enterprises has taken a financial hit, she must liquidate some unnecessary assets. She’s significantly downsizing the Bat Fam’s resources to save a buck or two. When Nightwing and the others complain about not having weapons to fight, Talia urges them to strengthen their bodies. She also gives Robin a five-month-late birthday gift: a silver rattle. How apropos for a 12-year-old boy.

HARLEY QUINN Season 4 Episode 4, “The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia.” Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Discovery Media/HBO.

At MalCon, Lex leads Ivy into the vendor’s hall. She’s in awe of it all. We see booths for the Evil Women in Business Collective (EWBC) with Cheetah, one for Starro (he’s also chilling outside) and Livewire’s Electric Swings (villains love golf). Lex tells Ivy she’s not on any panels, but she’ll deliver a 45-second introduction for his panel. The Jons give her tea so she can protect her voice. Naturally, Ivy’s irritated that her boss is icing her out.

Meanwhile, in the Batcave, our heroes devise a plan to get their weapons back. Harley offers to resume her services as someone who breaks in new shoes for women, but Batgirl has a better plan. (Although Nightwing could put that sweet rump to good use.) Next, we see two Swedish tourists at Wayne Manor’s door. The Bat Fam has morphed the mansion into an Airbnb. Harley and the others give said tourists a tour of their temporary stay. It’s strange seeing the Bat Fam in civilian clothes.

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Later, Alfred (Tom Hollander) speaks to a growing crowd in front of his White Collar Wine booth. He’s still in prison but making it a profitable experience for himself. Lex tries to introduce Ivy to Talia; however, they already know each other. Side note: I love Talia’s tote bag: “I’m a Moonver and a Shaker.” They are on the moon, after all. Side-side note: I thought the QR codes on their lanyards potentially led to a free comic or something, but after trying to scan them for a good 10 minutes, I realized the error of my ways.

Anyway, Steppenwolf (Keith Ferguson) arrives, fashionably late, on his giant doggie. Everyone falls prostrate before him. Ivy vows to get face time with Steppenwolf over the weekend. We see a montage transpire featuring Ivy trying to impress Steppenwolf. She shoves Elon Musk off of a panel and seizes the reins. Next, she sends Mark Zuckerberg hurtling into space, sparking the #WheresMark social media campaign. Lastly, Ivy sends Steppenwolf a drink. Steppenwolf slips Ivy his card, hoping they can meet for “java.”

HARLEY QUINN Season 4 Episode 4, “The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia.” Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Discovery Media/HBO.

Sure enough, they do get java together. Steppenwolf likes what Ivy’s putting down. He wants to embark on a partnership. Meanwhile, Ivy trains the Bat Fam in physical fighting. Nightwing’s not a fan. Harley keeps giving him titty twisters to show that villains can and will utilize dirty tactics to catch him off guard. During all this, our Bat Fam grows suspicious of their Airbnb guests.

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Then, Harley and Ivy chat via video call. Ivy’s getting a ton of attention at MalCon. Someone even tried stealing her panties while in a bathroom stall. Speaking of panties, Ivy permits Harley to sell hers for some cash. The Wayne Manor crew needs to live, y’all. At MalCon, Lex and Talia chat while watching two attractive people have sex. That’s how they get their rocks off. Of course these two are pals/partners. Lex learns from Talia that Ivy’s doing panels, which he expressly prohibited, and she’s more popular than him. That won’t stand.

On Earth, Joker scrolls social media and lives vicariously through everyone at MalCon. He’s mad he wasn’t invited, even though he was a keynote speaker the year before. Hey, you’re the one who wanted to be Mayor of Gotham. Anyway, he tries to pay attention to a lawn care expert, but who wants to listen to a complaint about blade length? In Wayne Manor, Nightwing emerges from the shower and puts on a towel with two holes cut out. Thus, his luscious boot-ay protrudes through said holes.

HARLEY QUINN Season 4 Episode 4, “The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia.” Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Discovery Media/HBO.

He tries to complain about the Airbnb guests to his Bat Fam, but he finds them bound and gagged, no thanks to, you guessed it, the Airbnb guests. He attempts to free Batgirl and Robin. Unfortunately, the Airbnb guests knock him unconscious. Meanwhile, Lex is pissed at Ivy for disobeying him. Oh, and she’s losing her voice, so she can’t deliver the 45-second intro. Lex does it for her, which, sexist. He unveils SpaceLex’s latest device that repairs the ozone layer and saves the Earth so villains can destroy it as often as they want.

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This spurs the media to ask if this was potentially Ivy’s idea that Lex co-opted. Basically, everyone wants to ask Ivy questions. Lex’s rage rises to a fever pitch, culminating in his calf implants exploding. A spray of blood coats some unfortunate panel attendees. Then, he hits an “emergency” button, removing the top of the glass dome where MalCon takes place. And, of course, they’re on the moon, so that’s not good. We see the room empty in a hurry as some unfortunate souls fly through the roofless dome into the vastness of space.

Next, Harley barges into the room to discover her Bat Fam is down for the count. She tries to fight off the Airbnb guests, who are practically fist-proof. At MalCon, everyone tries to flee to their rockets to escape back to Earth. Veronica Cale fights Elon Musk for a place on a rocket. She smashes his brains out in a wholly satisfying scene. So, the creatives behind Harley Quinn aren’t fans of Elongated Muskrat. Clark Kent tries to transform into Superman but realizes Kryptonite lines the dome. Ivy accompanies Steppenwolf to “Casablanca” before reuniting with Harley.

HARLEY QUINN Season 4 Episode 4, “The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia.” Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Discovery Media/HBO.

Speaking of Harley, she is, indeed, wearing a chastity belt. That’s no lie. Batgirl wriggles free of her restraints and frees Robin and Nightwing. They all grab random objects in the room to use as weapons. Then, they beat the snot out of the Airbnb guests alongside Harley. Afterward, Harls embraces her Bat Fam, grateful for the bonding time. Aw. Then, we see Joker set the lawn care expert on fire. He laughs maniacally. Could Evil Joker be back? Harley uses the money she makes from selling Ivy’s panties to purchase a security camera. However, one evening, she destroys it while ostensibly sleepwalking. Uh-oh.

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Do you think Joker will revert to his formerly wicked ways? Why is Harley destroying stuff in her sleep? What will come of an Ivy/Steppenwolf partnership? Only time (and more episodes) will tell.

Harley Quinn streams new episodes every Thursday on Max.

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